"Before"

So, why did I start this whole weight loss journey, and what was I trying to achieve? 

Here's my "before" shot.


Interestingly, as I prepared to write this, I went looking for photos of myself at my heaviest.  I couldn't actually find any.  I think this is more important than, say, the number on the scale, or the technical terminology, but that was bad, too.  I was obese.  Not technically morbidly obese, but my BMI was around 33, and I weighed about 60 pounds more than, technically, I would ideally weigh.  I didn't own a full length mirror, or a scale.  I never threw my clothing out.  I was basically avoiding looking at myself.  Because I didn't feel good about my body. 

Now, people tend to assume that fat people don't exercise, but I did.  A lot, actually.  They also assume that fat people don't diet.  And I did a lot of that.  Actually, it's probably why I got to be so fat.  The cycle that I got into when dieting usually backfired.  Anyway, ultimately I weighed way too much.  So much that my reproductive endocrinologist said he wouldn't work with me if I didn't limit my pregnancy weight gain, and quite frankly my OB office harassed me about my weight for the entire nine months.  I don't think that's acceptable behavior, but it reminded me of all the unacceptable behaviors I had endured as a fat person and all of the less subtle disadvantages that studies tell me I must be experiencing.  Put simply, I was paying a price for being fat, even beyond my own personal feelings.  Things had to change.