Day One

Doing something about my discontent!

Tonight's practice

29.5 in 5!

Worked on reffing.  Did poorly, but mainly in that responses were slow. Reffing Saturday at SVDV.

Jersey Shore Game

Wow!  Amazing! Had a great game!

Good:
1. PLayed powerful, played strong.
2. PLayed exceptionally well as a jammer.
3. Played well with my teammates as a blocker.

Bad: Took three penalties.

Next time:
1. Be as powerful as I wa sin this game, and cut down on the penalties.

Practice 7/5

Good:
1. Lots of things.

Bad:
1. Cramping muscles
2. Got crabby

Red, White & Bruise 2017

Yesterday, played Mount Nittany Mayhem vs. Pennsyltucky Punishers. We didn't win.  I did, however, play fairly well.

Good:
1. Jammed generally effectively.
2. Ran back a lot of jammers.
3. Was reliable.

Bad:
1. Overcommitted on jukey jammers.
2. Turned when we already had a scull. 
3. Muscles cramping.

To work on:
1. Better communication.
2. Slower movement -- don't overcommit/hyperadjust.

Practice 7/3/2017

Felt good. For the first time in a long time, I felt powerful, capable and string. All the time. It was a good night.

Stuff that was great:
1. Legal hits and effective blocking.

Stuff that I could work on:
1. Agility, always.

No, Really, Don't Wanna Captain No More.

ECDX was this weekend, and officially my final game as captain, though I was not the game captain because we have a rotation and my co-captain did the game captaining.

I was elected out a week or so ago, which I am upset about in some ways and grateful for in others. Grateful in that I am pleased to have more time to work on my own game, and to continue to get stronger. I'm still on the coaching committee, still the WFTDA rep, and still heading the venue committee. So I have plenty to do. I will not lack for ways to contribute or service hours.

I am upset that my co-captain is a sneaky mofo who lied about my actions and misconstrued her own.  I'm not sure what to do about that, but I am irritated at it, and really don't want to engage in a constructive way with her at the moment. I'm going to be civil and put my feelings aside because it's the right thing for the organization, but I'm not a fan, and I am not pleased with that aspect of the situation.  Additionally, there were a lot of idiotic, immature, petty, and generally shitty situations that are entirely preventable with people making decisions for the team and not for themselves. But I don't know how we as an organization can effectively deal with that without insulating to a degree the captains and coaches from popular opinion. Some things we have to do aren't popular.

What I'm also struggling to say to my coaches and captains, however, is that I don't think the existing coach/captain structure is conducive to good coaching or to achieving the goals we set as a league.  Electing captains and then expecting them to do a lot of coaching in their roles allows for some weird outcomes that aren't in line with the goals of coaching -- for example, captains that are inexperienced or not able to actually commit enough time to coaching. In this season, I myself was partially not reelected because of decisions that were not really my decisions -- they were unpopular aspects of policy.  Or they were effectively coaching discipline for players acting inappropriately.  *shrugs* You get who you elect, and that's not me at this point.  But it may also not be the best outcome, and it may not allow for coaches/captains to effectively execute the league/coaching strategy.

Anyway, I'm going to put that into a good email, and then never speak of it again. Because I have bigger fish to fry. At the moment, I don't feel very positively toward Plan B, though.

Captain no more

Hallelujah!

The Last Two Weeks

Derby practice since CT has been great in a lot of ways and challenging in a few others. Just before CT I finally got treatment for what turned out to be walking pneumonia, and was exacerbating a severe arthritis flareup.  I felt like my feet and ankles just would not do what I wanted them to -- because they wouldn't.  They were painful, hot and stiff pretty much all the time, while I was also wheezing.  So...could be better, for sure. 

The time since that game has been a series of improvements, in many regards, with some setbacks. I am starting, finally, to play my game again, the way I can play when I am at my best.  I'm going to continue to work through this stuff, with the hopes of getting to my full potential.

Good, today:
1. Power is returning.  I am finally at the point where I feel at like 90% of my physical capability.  Had a lot of successful jam, and blocking was reasonably competent.
2. Stopped holding myself back. I think because of the pain I just was not using my full power. I'd go in for a hit and sort of hold back a little, because I knew it was going to hurt a lot.  Well, it doesn't hurt much any more. I'm not holding back.
3. Played low -- used my hips or full body checks, instead of my shoulders. Was largely legal.

Bad:
1. I was not thoroughly in it to win it, mentally.  It was almost like there was a tape running in the background, distracting me.  I was often moving slower than is ideal, because preoccupation.
2. Feet/ankles are not quite there, but they're getting there.  Gotta keep at it.

To Work on:
1. Everything.  Mainly getting the feet/ankles in shape.
2. Keep building on things that are working.

Plan B. Vs. CT Yankee Brutals

Good game!

Good stuff that happened:
1. Mounted first successful official review.
2. We won the game by about 20 points.
3. Improved strength and agility.
4. Few penalties.

Meh stuff to remember and do something about:
1. Bench behavior -- people not listening, people grousing, people being bitches to the coaching staff.
2. Keep working, keep improving.

Westco vs. NARD

Played this weekend with Westco against NARD.

The good:
1. Generally played pretty well. Was smart, strategic and tough, and really made NARD work for their points. Had some really killer jams.
2. NARD's floor is more warped than in the past, and it really didn't affect me once we got rolling.
3. So nice to celebrate Pinky's 100th game!
4. I've been dragging and sick lately, but I felt almost 100% again in this game. It was GREAT!

The bad:
1. Penalties. Bad.
2. As a team, WestCo didn't have as much tenaciousness as I'm used to in teammates.I need to remember to keep myself working hard regardless of who I'm working with, 

To work on:
1. Coaching/captaining.  Keeping chill, communicating clearly to people, etc.

Practice

Still dying,  but pushing my way through!

Church

Hallelujah! 

I'm sick.  There's really no sugarcoating it.  I have like half the power I need,  so I'm really dragging.

However,  I did go,  I did go all out,  and I feel like I'm getting more effective even though I'm not very strong.  Good enough for now. 

Test

Black Mo

Rink time!

Reporting back from our open skate experience: 1. Kids made it an hour on skates.  Not bad! 2. Christian ran into two of his hockey teammates and two students.  3. I am way better at ice skating than I was the last time I skated. Skated backwards,  hockey stopped,  and generally did not badly.  4. Christian informed me that both children are going to be hockey players and neither will figure skate, because "hockey players and figure skaters are like Bloods and Crips."

Dutchland Game

So, first game captaining.  First game in a while playing blocker-only. At this time, I made a choice to travel a fair bit in the off-season for work, my dad was getting worse, and I also had booked a vacation two years ago, before I had any idea what SCAR's schedule was. So collectively I was at close to minimum hours, and therefore did the honorable thing and set myself up not to play full strength in terms of assignments/minutes.  I was designated as an alt. Jammer, but not actually used despite playing fairly well in that role in the practices leading up to the game.

In general, looking back at the game and seeing photos and video, I did better than I thought at the time.  I still have lots to work on.

We lost in the last jam by a small margin, but overall I'm pleased with how we did things.

As a captain:

I wish I had been more deliberate and specific in talking out the logistics of the game, such that we collectively were more equipped to act on changing conditions.
I think I did a good job of talking with my teammates about their specific concerns and challenges, and being receptive to their feelings.  Also, choosing rosters and alts was challenging, and I think I did a reasonably good job of it.

As a blocker:
Meh. Not bad.
TOO MANY PENALTIES!  I was second among the team in penalties per jam.
AWESOME VTAR!  I led the team in VTAR, meaning that despite my penalties we scored more points with me playing than we scored while anyone else was playing.
So much touching!  We truck & trailers, bulldozed, whipped and cannon balled really well.
We didn't do such a great job kaleidcoping, either holding onto each other or rotating.
We didn't do all the things.  We did do many of them.   For myself, I really want to improve how I approach power jams as a blocker.  Less talk, more rock.

Goodbye, Dad

My Dad died. It sucked. I was away for a week, with the kids, as my dad died, and I'm glad I did it, but I feel foggy and like I'm struggling back to reality.  It was very quick -- I cancelled a business trip to get down there and that was the right decision, as he was unconscious before I would have gotten there otherwise.  We were able to talk a bit, which was good, and he went out the way he lived, in control for the most part and assertive, and with him making the most of a tough situation.  I'm so glad that he had his heart transplant in 1997, and we've been able to have a lot of good years. But I still miss him.

My goal this week is to more or less put one foot in front of the other.  Next week, I am planning to work on getting back to or implementing higher standards/more ambitious things for myself.

Off-skates This Week

SCAR doesn't have access to Penn Skates this week due to events that take the skating floor, so we've been having meetings and rules discussion in their place, and a league meeting.

Good:

• I feel like I'm like 90% on my awareness and understanding of the rules, broadly, and things like clock management.
• Also, I'm not taking the week off from exercise. I'm just getting alternate forms of it, because we've got a game soon!

Not so good:

• I am sometimes either bad at executing them in the moment or not great at being assertive about what I think would be most effective -- judgment that is sometimes even more evident to me in retrospect.  It helps that I am captaining Plan B, but I still struggle to be as aware and capable as I can be in the moment.
• I'm not playing as active a power jam strategy as I could be. For one, even though I know this, I stopped dragging the pack back.  

To work on:

• Systems or practices that help me work with the rest of SCAR to take advantage of my relatively solid knowledge of strategy and rules.
• More active power jam strategy -- both discussing it with my team and implementing/leading with it myself.

Gym this week

We're off skates this week due to an event at the rink,  so this week has been heavy on strategy and watching tape. More I  that later -- it's interesting to me setting what happened vs. What I perceived at the time.  

However,  I also resumed full length gym workouts,  including intervals on the ergometer. I'm trying to target my core and really tax those muscles.   We'll see how it goes.

Church Today

Man, I sucked!  I was exhausted after driving through the night and I sucked a ton of wind.  But the important thing, I suppose, is that I went, right?

Good: Tried new strategies, didn't give up.

Bad: It was kind of a hot mess,

To work on: We have a week without rink access, and it's going to be key to get workouts in separately.

Update on my dad, and family

The health update on my dad is not good. Cancer. Advanced.  Not cureable, but treatable. We are now waiting for more direction, on options and timelines and all that fun stuff.  I'm likely going on a quick visit next week.

Meanwhile, my brother and family are apparently dissatisfied with their accommodations, which they enjoy rent-free thanks to my parents.  Poor timing, idiots.

Monday Practice

Back after a week on the high seas, where we actually skated on board!  Feeling not entirely back to my land legs and having a hell of a time with track boundaries, but otherwise not bad.

Coaching feedback:

1. Too many penalties!
2. Abandoning the kaleidoscope is bad.

Note to self:

1. Slow the fuck down.
2. Talk.
3. Say thank you.

Wednesday Practice

The Good:
Won about 75% of my jams.
Kaleidoscoped pretty decently.
Communicated pretty well in my first practuce as captain, and with my co-captain.

The Bad:
Lost 25% of my jams.
I was very stiff.  Agility was challenging.
Always got to improve on speed control.
The team could work on communication, speed control, and reforming.

To Work On:
Jamming-related agility.

Family Comes First

My dad is sick. Very sick.  He has been on vacation in Florida for a while, but got what appeared to be bronchitis and it didn't improve.  So he eventually had to go home to Chattanooga, where the small local hospital proposed some fairly extreme intterventions that were stressful in the extreme. So now he's in the cardio ICU at Emory.

Saturday Gym

I've been feeling like I wasn't getting ideal benefit out of the gym lately, because I've been kind of not going at it very deliberately.  Today I went to try to be more thoughtful, and to work on formulating my cross-training regimen for the upcoming season.

Goals for today: 30 minutes of cardio. 30 minutes of agility/plyo.  15 minutes of weights.

Attained!  I'll post some photos of my form during agility/plyo -- I really have picked up some weight, but I'm also wearing a really non-flattering shirt that I'm going to toss later.                            

I also took the kids along and we were lucky to find the karate room open at the end of my workout time, so we did yoga and agility and goofed around with exercise balls and such.  Great day at the gym!

Promoted

...well, sorta. I got elected as one of two captains of Plan B.  Truth be told, it terrifies me, but I'm hopeful that I will be able to bring analytics and an understanding of officiating and a desire to benefit all my teammates that will help us all.   No profound thoughts yet, but I'm working on it!

Demoted, and it Feels So Bad

So...I got demoted from the Dolls to Plan B.  It wasn't entirely unpredictable.  We've gotten lots of great transfers, and people have matured, and meanwhile I've had some health challenges.  I'm currently working on some kind of blood sugar issue, which my doctor thinks may be connected to aspartame.  But I've also gained some weight and taken some time off, and now I'm paying for it. 

I have been wallowing this week a bit in the aftermath.  I'm not all that upset about the demotion, actually, but I also got coaching feedback that is pretty upsetting.  I took a few days to be angry about that.  I've also been sick.  I got glass in my eye, and spent a day home with it swollen shut.  Now I have some kind of respiratory funk -- I can play and I can more or less go about my business, but I sound terrible and I can't sleep.  So...shitty week.  

But. But. But. This isn't the first time people have underestimated me and I'm sure it won't be the last. And I gave them too much to work with.  So now my task is to look at the things I can control to mitigate that.  Because I'm not interested in accepting someone else's ideas about my limitations, and I too often apply ideas like that to myself anyway.  TL: DR: I'm going to formulate a plan to pick myself up and go back on the attack.  Wish me luck. 

Sunday practice

29.999999 in 5. Yay!

Fuck this. Fuck That. Fuck It All.

Got demoted in derby.  Didn't get the job.  Got glass in my eye. Fuck this week.  Fuck it all.

I'm going to just recuperate for a brief while and then formulate my plan of attack.

Achievements

Just a few notes on where the kids are at the moment:

1. Georgia is making major progress on using the toilet.  She's also got a big stubborn/determined streak -- we told her, accurately, that she can't go in all the pools on the ship when we go on vacation in March if she doesn't use the toilet.  She therefore is highly motivated to use the toilet.  She doesn't necessarily ask to use it, however, so we have her try it throughout the day.

2. Hal is, well, Hal.  He's been having some temper issues lately, but he's highly motivated to take responsibility and do things for himself.

The Women's March

I'm posting this significantly after the march, obviously, having had some time for my thoughts to coalesce, and I'm thinking a passel of unconventional thoughts about everything.

1. I'm glad I did it.

2. In and of itself, it's an achievement -- which doesn't mean we're done working.

3. My fellow progressives really piss me off with their tendency to in-fight.  As a progressive Independent, I'm just not into it.  And I am an Independent because I don't care uniformly about the matters of greatest importance to the party, either party.

Tryouts

The last few weeks have been tryouts, and I am pretty anxious about it, even though objectively I have improved a lot, and probably enough to be fairly secure on the travel team.

I also was nominated to captain the Punishers, and even though I did not get the captain ship, apparently it was close.  That's a nice honor.

Sayonara 2016, Hello 2017

The consensus this year is that 2016 was terrible and blah blah blah.  But looking back on it, this year was personally not bad, and I intend to continue improving on my life situation in 2017. 

Highlights: 

1. Georgia turned 2. Hal turned 4. 

2. Bought a camper and had adventures. 

3. Chris got a new job.

4. I got an award at work, and was MVP Jammer for Plan B with SCAR. 

I'm probably forgetting something.  We're super busy and sometimes it goes by like a blur. 

So, resolutions for 2017? Not really.  But here are some intentions.

1. Be consistent and reliable.

2. Don't take on more than makes us happy and/or is necessary. 

3. Keep on keeping on.